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Bumper stickers of note.
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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.Give me ambiguity or give me something else."More hay, Trigger?"
"No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.There's too much blood in my caffeine system.Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.Where there's a will, I want to be in it.Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
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Words of truth - and consequences.
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"In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other." -- Linda Ellerbee, 'Move On: Adventures in the Real World' (Putnam)"Not all of us have to possess earthshaking talent. Just common sense and love will do." -- Myrtle Auvil, quoted by Norman Julian in Morgantown W.Va., 'Dominion Post'"One never realizes how much and how little he knows until he starts talking." -- Louis L'Amour, "Bendigo Shafter" (Bantam)"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it." -- Langston Hughes"The pioneers cleared the forests from Jamestown to the Mississippi with fewer tools than are stored in the typical modern garage." -- Dwayne Laws in 'Good Reading'"Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority." -- William Arthur Ward"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors." -- African proverb"None are so empty as those who are full of themselves." -- Benjamin Whichcote... and one from yours truly:"Considering the winding river and the summer's breeze, we see that nature's paths are seldom on the straight and narrow..." -- "WindOnWater" aka John Berry
-------------------- OTHER WORDS SOMEONE HAD TO EAT:
"No child of mine," I used to cry,
Before the stork had fluttered by,,
"Will ever throw a temper fit,
Or bite, or scratch, or whine, or hit,
Or wear a diaper 'til he's three,
Or sit for hours and watch TV,
Or dawdle 'til he makes me late,
Or leave his spinach on his plate,
Or act in short, like other kids,
Who make their parents flip their lids."
But with the patter of little feet,
I have a million words-- or more -- to eat!Author: Betty Billipp
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A Boy and His Frog
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A Boy and His Frog
One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, "Boy, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket.
Later, the frog said, "Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for a week." The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled at it, then put it back into his pocket.
Later, the frog said, "Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will do ANYTHING you want!" The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled, and put it back.
Finally, the frog cried, "Boy, what is the matter, I have told you that I am a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I will stay with you and do ANYTHING you want!"
The boy took the frog from his pocket and said, "Look, I am an engineer, I have no time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"
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