Can Smart Frogs Fly?
FELIX THE FLYING FROG:
A PARABLE ABOUT SCHEDULES, CYCLE TIMES,
AND SHAPING NEW BEHAVIORS.
(Both of the following stories came to my attention from Nevet Basker. The first story is widely available on the web. The second part is a good deal more difficult to find.)

Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but he always dreamed of being rich.

"Felix!" he exclaimed one day, "We're going to be rich! I'm going to teach you how to fly!"

Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect: "I can't fly, you idiot...... I'm a frog, not a canary!"

Clarence, disappointed at the initial reaction, told Felix: "That negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class."

So Felix went to a three day class and learned about problem solving, time management, and effective communication.... but nothing about flying.

On the first day of "flying lessons", Clarence could barely control his excitement. Clarence explained that their apartment had 15 floors, and each day Felix would jump out of a window starting with the first floor eventually getting to the top floor.

After each jump, Felix would analyze how well he flew, isolate on the most effective flying techniques, and implement the improved process for the next flight. By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.

Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears. "He just doesn't understand how important this is..." thought Clarence, "but I won't let nay-sayers get in my way."

So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out (who landed with a thud).

Next day (poised for his second flying lesson) Felix again begged not to be thrown out of the window. With that, Clarence opened his pocket guide to Managing More Effectively and showed Felix the part about how one must always expect resistance when implementing new programs.

And with that, he threw Felix out the window.(THUD)

On the third day (at the third floor) Felix tried a different ploy: stalling, he asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather would make flying conditions more favorable.

But Clarence was ready for him: he produced a timeline and pointed to the third milestone and asked, "You don't want to slip the schedule do you?"

From his training, Felix knew that not jumping today would mean that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow.... so he just said: "OK. Let's go." And out the window he went. Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best. On the fifth day he flapped his feet madly in a vain attempt to fly. On the sixth day he tied a small red cape around his neck and tried to think "Superman" thoughts.

But try as he might, he couldn't fly.

By the seventh day, Felix (accepting his fate) no longer begged for mercy.... he simply looked at Clarence and said: "You know you're killing me, don't you?"

Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less than exemplary, failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had set for him.

With that, Felix said quietly: "Shut up and open the window," and he leaped out, taking careful aim on the large jagged rock by the corner of the building.

And Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky. Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to meet a single goal that he set out to accomplish. Felix had not only failed to fly, he didn't even learn how to steer his flight as he fell like a sack of cement.... nor did he improve his productivity when Clarence had told him to "Fall smarter, not harder."

The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyze the process and try to determine where it had gone wrong.

After much thought, Clarence smiled and said:

"Next time...... I'm getting a smarter frog!"

FREDERICA THE FROG: A PARABLE ABOUT MEN, MANAGEMENT,
AND THE IMPORTANCE OF OBEYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITY.
(This part was written by: Marlene La Monica)

Once upon a time there lived a frog named Felix. This, however is a moot point, since Felix never learned the importance of saying NO!

After a lengthy funeral, a long unemotional eulogy, and many questions by the department of Labor and Industries and the ASPCA, Clarence set about finding a "smarter frog" who would help him to become rich by being the first frog to obtain a pilot's license.

One day after many tedious interviews with many average frogs, a lovely lady frog came into Clarence's office. He was quite surprised at this, since he thought that he had only called male candidates in for interviews. Frederica, however, was a smart frog. She knew how to get in the door, and had only put "FRED" on her resume.

Clarence was reluctant to admit it, but he liked Frederica's ideas. He also liked the idea of having an attractive young frog around to do his bidding.

Also, he could save 25% on her salary, since she was a female. He hired her on the spot.

They spent many weeks in planning meetings. Clarence educated Frederica on the finer points of flying. Frederica listened to Clarence. She even occasionally laughed at his jokes. He gave her a raise. He was actually becoming attracted to her. There had been a great deal of media attention already, and the money was starting to come in.

Clarence and Frederica had an affair. He wrote her into his will and made her the beneficiary on his life insurance policy. Whenever Clarence talked about the day Frederica would fly, she smiled a sly grin and said, "Yes, dearest".

Finally, the day arrived. They had spent thousands of dollars already, but it didn't matter. Frederica was going to make Clarence rich.

Frederica put on her new, very expensive gold lame flying suit (they thought it would look good on camera. It looked especially good, since the breast augmentation). They had decided, since there was so much planning already, and it had taken so long to get to this point, that they were going to go right to the 15th floor. Clarence knew that it would work this time. If it didn't work, he could deal with that too, especially since he was feeling like Frederica made unreasonable demands on his time.

Up the elevator they went together. Clarence and Frederica walked out on the ledge together. She readied herself. Something didn't feel right in her suit, so she asked Clarence for his help. He came closer, and she stuck out a dainty 6" pump and tripped Clarence. Over the edge he went, and landed with a THUD on the same jagged rock that Felix had hit....the one in the corner of the building. Frederica smiled a sly smile, wiped a tear from her eye, and said, "That was for Felix". Then she took the life insurance policy and will out of the safe and went to speak with her attorney.

When Clarence got to the Pearly Gates, there stood Felix. "What happened to you?", said Felix.

"I got a smarter frog!", said Clarence.

The End

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